Flashback or Flashforward

I was in Vegas last week for a few days and realized that I was walking the very same Strip that I had first visited two years ago during a road trip from California to Wisconsin.  I have many great memories from that first trip to Vegas, mostly because my sister and I simply had a lot of fun in what I like to call an adult's version of Disneyland.  I was excited to be back!

What I did not know on my first trip to Vegas back in May 2010 is that it would be the last place I visited before God would begin transforming my life.  Vegas is the sight of some of those bittersweet "before" photos.  This one was taken after my sister and I had a great buffet brunch and before we each had our own giant ice cream sundaes for dinner.  Not that there's anything wrong with either of those, but for someone who had truly been in a place where food = comfort, it was a problem.  I thought about it more than anything else.

Imagine my surprise last week, when I am in Vegas, two years later and 140 pounds lighter, and I realize adult Disneyland hasn't been nicknamed "Sin City" for no reason and I feel faced with the biggest temptations ever.  I get why a lot of recovering alcoholics never walk into bars.  The sights and smells of liquor do things to your brain and your taste buds like nothing else.  It's like that for me and food and well, you can maybe imagine what it's like for a food addict to walk into a giant buffet.

The thing is that I could have chosen not to go.  And I decided to go to the Planet Hollywood buffet for a couple of reasons.  The first being that it would be the only time our group would eat together and I think there is a lot of value in camaraderie and relationship building over meals.  After all, Jesus made a lot of friends with bread and fish.  My second reason was practical - I was hungry and it was dinner time and I knew that it was possible to eat healthy at a buffet.  My third reason, which I didn't fully commit to until after I paid $30 and looked at all the food, was to prove to myself that I could do it; that I could eat at a buffet and not overeat; that I could eat at a buffet and not focus on how much I could pile on my plate or how many trips I could make without getting sick; that I could enjoy the wide array of food choices and be excited about the way the chefs had prepared things like Moroccan chicken and beef kabobs - both things that are highly nutritional and that I don't cook at home; that I could once and for all say, without a doubt that I AM A CHANGED PERSON, transformed inside as much as on the outside.  All of this after my first ride on an upside down roller coaster at New York New York Hotel.  Maybe the roller coaster is just another good metaphor for how there can be things, like food, in life that attempt to make us crazy and if we can harness just enough courage and trust in God to hang on for the ride, everything will be ok and God will help break down any barriers in our lives.

I've been running a lot lately - not really for any race in particular, although I am planning on registering for Tough Mudder this fall.  I've been running simply for fitness and fun.  Every weekend for the past couple of months, I have been getting together with a friend for a weekly long run as she trains for a marathon.  Two days after my return from this year's Vegas trip was to be the peak training run - the 20 miler.  I think looking forward to that (or at least the challenge of knowing that is was coming) during this trip to Vegas helped me make good choices for me.  It helped because my time in Vegas became a crossroads and a true test of identity.  I could choose to flashback to 2010 and party it up at the buffet or I could flash forward and focus on finishing that 20 mile run that two years ago, I wouldn't have dreamed dreaming about.  This photo is my "now" shot (I no longer believe in "after" pictures since we continue to transform throughout our lives and I hope that I am never satisfied with what is because when that happens, I will get bored and give up and well that just won't be fun!), taken a few weeks ago since for some reason I didn't think to go back to the same spot in Vegas for an updated picture.  I'm happy to say that yesterday, I completed that 20.02 mile training run!!!

Thanks for reading my story.  May the peace of God be with you always and may you be transformed in spirit, mind, and body to live out the call for which the Holy Spirit has whispered in your heart.

Amen!